ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
