we have officially lost it.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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