i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
