The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
