Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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