talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
