could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
