so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
