Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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