tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
