all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
