I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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