God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
