wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
