check it out our google latitudes are spooning
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
