So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
