To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
