Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
