mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
