Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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