well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
