Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
