It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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