Just fell off a train. Bad.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
