Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
