why didn't you poke me back
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The power of my boobs compel you
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize