You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
high people should be assigned attendants
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
