Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
