you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
