Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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