so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Of course I have a pirate flag
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
