Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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