I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
