Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
