is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
