yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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