i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
