Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
