Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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