the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
