Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
