There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
