I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
