Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I cut my penus on the lid.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
