I accidentally had phone sex last night
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
