it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
