Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
