i don't like sucking hair
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
