he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
