I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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