I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
