You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
